sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
