He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
