My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
