Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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