Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize