so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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