I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
