I just cut my nipple shaving
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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