I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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