i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
