I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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