Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
