You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
