She is in my trunk
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize