Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
