babies were throwing up all over the place
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize