Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize