if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
