Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
