Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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