I feel great
I just peed on a car
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
