btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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