Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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