make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
