I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
