is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
