Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
