My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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