We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
