Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
