I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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