This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
