lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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