I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
