She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just threw up on my dentist
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
