I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
