how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
