Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm really busy with my period
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
