we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
