I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she looked like the before picture.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
