so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have post one night stand depression
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
