I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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