I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
