i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I touched a dick in church today
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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