it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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