it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hippo gnu deer
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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