I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
