can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
