operation harelip BJ is a go
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
