Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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