I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
