I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
