I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
