how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
