So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
