hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
