Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
