I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
