Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
jump out the window naked night went bad
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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