normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
