by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
