ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
