i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
