dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
